Feb. 21st, 2006

oneirophrenia: (Christyballs)
Looking back at that "what tarot card are you?" quiz, I've begun to think: perhaps The Lovers is a more apropos card for myself these days than The Tower. And here's why.

It's all summed up in these lines: "Getting in touch with our inner animus and anima, (Jung's terms for our inner male and female), allows us to see the whole of our
personalities in a positive and constructive light. When you draw The Lovers card in a reading, you are working with balancing these forces. Depending on where the card is, you have either achieved balance or need to."

Balance is something that has been missing from my life for a very, very long time. Since 1999, at least. Before that, I distinctly remember how balanced my life was between positive and negative forces of all kinds--I found it easier to deal with stuff in general, because my life was stable and wholly self-centered. That is no longer the case: I'm much, much less egoistic than I was then...but in losing a lot of my introversion and reaching out to discover the ability to really love others, I lost the balance. I can't go back to being what I was in the past--it's simply not possible, as to do so would involve me mutilating my personality and reverting to a state I really can't look upon favorably anymore. But I need to get my head on straight concerning what I have become.

It's probably going to take a lifetime of work. I just hope I have a decent lifetime left to work on it.


oneirophrenia: (Default)

April 2007

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