Jul. 13th, 2006

oneirophrenia: (Hahaha)
The winner of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Contest:

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean." By Jim Guigli.

And one of the dishonorable mentions:

"It had been a dark and stormy night, but as dawn began to light upthe eastern sky, to the west the heavens suddenly cleared, unveiling apale harvest moon that reposed gently atop the distant mesa like apumpkin on a toilet with the lid down." By Gerald R. Johnson.
oneirophrenia: (New Year's Eve)
1. My ex is... haunting me.

2. I am listening to... Grandaddy, specifically the song "Where I'm Anymore".

3. Maybe I should... quit fucking around here and just get in to work already.

4. I love... reading horribly disgusting horror stories.

5. My best friend... is a cat.

6. I don't understand... female humans.

7. I lose... everytime I try too hard at anything, especially "dating">

8. People say... I'm weird. And they're right.

9. The meaning of my screen name is... "a dreamlike state or clouding of consciousness"--the mental state I'm almost always in.

10. Love is... torture. Endless mental and physical torture.

11. Somewhere, someone is... scratching their butt.

12. I will always... be a bigmouthed dork who knows way too much about esoteric topics.

13. Forever seems... boring.

14. I never want to... end up in the hospital again.

15. My mobile phone is... a necessity of my semi-nomadic life.

16. When I wake up in the morning... I take a big ol' piss.

17. I get annoyed when... I witness humans acting "all-too-human", that is: doing stupid shit inspired by ridiculous biological drives that they can easily control with a little forethought.

18. Parties are... amusing in small doses.

19. My fish is... nonexistent.

20. Kisses are the worst when... you don't mean it.

21. Today I... am barely awake.

22. Tonight I will... at work, and still be barely awake.

23. Tomorrow I will... be barely awake.

24. I really want... to eat something.

OK, off to work.

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