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Sunday Butt Blitz
Jan. 16th, 2005 06:39 pmWhy, God? Why did you break your promise to never send another mysterious flood to annoy humanity? And I don't mean the tsunami that fucked Micronesia to pieces--I'm talking about the inexplicable flood that damnear destroyed my kitchen this morning. That flood, you dealbreaking son-of-a-bitch. Just go and shove that rainbow up your ass now, holmes, 'cause the bargain's officially off.
Seriously, though--this shit is just weird. Check it out:
As you may know, over the past few days, I've had some redneck plumbers tearing my house apart and jamming new pipes into it. Which is a good thing, mind you...I've gotten a little tired of having no water pressure whatsoever in my bathroom because the pipes were all jacked up and clogged with rust and lead and dead rats. So now they're putting in new pipes, and doing a very good job of it, I must say. Or so I thought.
This morning, my mother called me to tell me my kitchen was flooded. She'd gone over to my house to check on Christy and discovered two inches of water on the floor underneath where the pipes are being installed because, apparently, the dickmouthed plumbers TURNED ON THE MAIN VALVE WITHOUT FINISHING THE PIPING. I immediately got my ass back to my house to help take care of the mess, and when I arrived I found my kitchen a damp fucking mess: my mother had thrown down towels to sop up a lot of the flood, but then I had to spend the next two hours mopping the fucking floor and wiping everything off. Thankfully, the only thing that really got soaked was the floor and the wall directly underneath the pipework, but...
Here's the thing: the plumbers haven't been back since Friday. They left before I did that day, and before I came down to Pittsburgh they told me they were going to finish hooking everything up on Monday, and that I'd have water then. They told me that the main valve was shut off in the basement. When my mother checked on Christy yesterday, everything was fine. No water, no dripping, nothing. This morning, however, she discovered the flood. Of course, she knows as well as I do where the main valve for that plumbing is, so she ran down into the basement to check it. Sure enough...the valve was open a little. Just enough to let water start flowing into the pipes and squirting out into my kitchen. But the valve is damnear impossible to turn it's so stiff. The damn woman nearly gave herself a heart attack twisting it the two degrees to close it again. Hell, when I went down there to doublecheck it, even I had to struggle with it to be sure it was closed.
How the hell did a valve that tight turn itself open, even just a little, overnight?
Something fucking weird is going on in my basement. I am now convinced of this. First, it was just a matter of the basement lights always turning themselves on after I've shut them off. Then the damn basement door started opening of its own accord occasionally. Hell, now this--and right now, Christy is standing in front of the door meowing comnstantly and scratching at the knob. She's been doing this since I got home. What the hell is down there?
I've lived in this house my entire life. I've never experienced any sort of activity like this before here. Ever. So what the hell is going on now?
Seriously, though--this shit is just weird. Check it out:
As you may know, over the past few days, I've had some redneck plumbers tearing my house apart and jamming new pipes into it. Which is a good thing, mind you...I've gotten a little tired of having no water pressure whatsoever in my bathroom because the pipes were all jacked up and clogged with rust and lead and dead rats. So now they're putting in new pipes, and doing a very good job of it, I must say. Or so I thought.
This morning, my mother called me to tell me my kitchen was flooded. She'd gone over to my house to check on Christy and discovered two inches of water on the floor underneath where the pipes are being installed because, apparently, the dickmouthed plumbers TURNED ON THE MAIN VALVE WITHOUT FINISHING THE PIPING. I immediately got my ass back to my house to help take care of the mess, and when I arrived I found my kitchen a damp fucking mess: my mother had thrown down towels to sop up a lot of the flood, but then I had to spend the next two hours mopping the fucking floor and wiping everything off. Thankfully, the only thing that really got soaked was the floor and the wall directly underneath the pipework, but...
Here's the thing: the plumbers haven't been back since Friday. They left before I did that day, and before I came down to Pittsburgh they told me they were going to finish hooking everything up on Monday, and that I'd have water then. They told me that the main valve was shut off in the basement. When my mother checked on Christy yesterday, everything was fine. No water, no dripping, nothing. This morning, however, she discovered the flood. Of course, she knows as well as I do where the main valve for that plumbing is, so she ran down into the basement to check it. Sure enough...the valve was open a little. Just enough to let water start flowing into the pipes and squirting out into my kitchen. But the valve is damnear impossible to turn it's so stiff. The damn woman nearly gave herself a heart attack twisting it the two degrees to close it again. Hell, when I went down there to doublecheck it, even I had to struggle with it to be sure it was closed.
How the hell did a valve that tight turn itself open, even just a little, overnight?
Something fucking weird is going on in my basement. I am now convinced of this. First, it was just a matter of the basement lights always turning themselves on after I've shut them off. Then the damn basement door started opening of its own accord occasionally. Hell, now this--and right now, Christy is standing in front of the door meowing comnstantly and scratching at the knob. She's been doing this since I got home. What the hell is down there?
I've lived in this house my entire life. I've never experienced any sort of activity like this before here. Ever. So what the hell is going on now?
