Asked by the Mighty [livejournal.com profile] beeporama

Feb. 10th, 2004 03:06 pm
oneirophrenia: (John Prine)
[personal profile] oneirophrenia
(1) How did you end up with so many goth friends?

Well, I was the posterboy of the Pittsburgh goth scene in 1998--cover of the Post-Gazette Weekender's expose on the scene and all that.... :) Seriously, though, it's a rather interesting story as to how I ended up knowing most of the people that I do. In December of 1997, my buddy Joe was working at PNC Bank in downtown Pittsburgh, and one Friday night we planned on hanging out in Uniontown here when he got back. He called me around 7pm, though, and told me that his car had died right in the middle of 885, he'd gotten it towed as far as Century III Mall, and needed me to come down and pick him up. This was perfectly cool with me--I hadn't been to Century III in a while, so I gathered up our other friends Rhonda and Lynny and headed down to get Joe. When we met up with him at the Mall, he suggested we go down to Carson St. and walk around a bit, since Lynny and Rhonda had never been down there, and I hadn't been there in ages...so we drove down in my car, parked near 20th Street, and got out to walk around. It was a cool, but not cold night, and wet--it had rained all day. We were stalking along Carson St., marvelling at all the awesomeness--remember: I hadn't been to Pittsburgh in years, and had only been there with others--and we came to the Beehive. I remembered hanging out at the Beehive once or twice waaaaay back in '92 or '93 with some of my asshole friends from Penn State (when I was a student there), but hadn't been back since. I idly looked in the window and LO! There, sitting at the window table, were three well-dressed, classical goth chicks of the Mortician Addams ubergoth varietal. I froze, slackjawed and confused. I had no idea they had such creatures in Pittsburgh, of all places! Hell, I didn't even know what they were called...but I did a little research on the Net and came upon the dear ol' pgh-goth-list. Through that venerable outlet I met [livejournal.com profile] gwenix and Mari and...well, eventually, almost everyone I currently know.

I seem to currently hang out with mostly goth folks simply because I feel most comfortable with them. Try talking about Lovecraft and video games and alchemical studies with serious "mainstream" fuckers--you don't get very far....I have all manner of friends, of course, allied with all manner of cultures both sub- and mainstream, but nonetheless, I know very few really hardcore, serious, "I'm so goth I'm dead" types. Almost every one of the goths I know is of the Pittsburghian "Hey, whatever" type.

(2) Aliens land in your yard. They don't speak English, but they beckon for you to enter their large spacecraft. What do you do?

Go along with them. Without question. I mean...two things can happen: 1) They want to communicate in some fashion, and have chosen me as a typical human to converse with--a good call on their part, since I'm pretty good at linguistics and simple mathematics, so I could probably set up a decent *basic* communication structure with them and become famous forever as The Guy Who Talked To The Aliens; or 2) they want a sample to dissect and/or play with. I'm good either way. In instance 1), I gain fame and possibly money, and make some cool new friends. In instance 2), I die hideously but at least I'm put out of my misery and, hey, maybe they'll just stick me in an alien zoo.

(3) What are your career goals, short- and long-term?

Short-term: Start working on my doctorate in English at Duquesne. Long-term: a renewable-contract or tenure-track position at Penn State Fayette, or really, any other university that would like to hire me to teach folks how to write. If at all possible, though, I want to avoid bigtime urban colleges like, say, Pitt and CMU because I patently despise the concept of teaching a basic writing class of more than 30 students maximum. If I can't actually work individually with my students to help them learn properly and give them the personalized instruction they need to identify their strength and eliminate their weaknesses, what's the fucking point? My ideal job is teaching at some little New England college in the middle of nowhere, where all the students look like they're half-fish and the library has a copy of the Olaus Wormius Latin translation of The Necronomicon.

(4) Is there anything good about Uniontown?

Many things. It's quiet, the people are fun to watch, and the younger folks--those who make up my primary class constituency--are surprisingly bright. Sure, some of them would rather just drive around in their cars and act like idiots, but...there are a lot more intelligent folks coming out of the younger generations than I ever thought possible.

(5) If you could trade any one character trait for another, what would you do?

I would get rid of my inate hopelessness and despair and trade it for a simple, mindless, rosy outlook on life. I've discovered it's becoming easier and easier all the time to work around my monstrous pessimism--especially when I have the right reason to do so, and I've discovered a number of those, some a million times more important than others--but still...it's always lurking there like a dead thing lost in the basement somewhere. Anymore, it's more of an annoyance than an actual curse, but I'd like to just get rid of the annoyance.

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