I truly hate being alive.

In one single day (today):

The UTI is coming back. Yes, again. (Despite the fact that I'm still taking $160 antibiotics that supposedly should be able to cure fucking AIDS let alone a goddamned bladder infection.)

I pissed out another kidney stone at work and had to go to the ER. Yes, again. (Despite the fact that I've been CAT-scanned twice and no one saw anything.)

I had to completely reinstall the OS on my laptop. Yes, again. (Despite the fact that I checked and quadruple-checked everything on it twice.)

And I discovered that, between my two bank accounts, I have 20 dollars to my name and close to $20 thousand dollars in medical bills to pay. Oh, right, and the county assistance agency fucked up my applications for medical assistance. I needed them to deny me so the hospital's own emergency-care program would cover the bills. Instead, they sent me a food-stamp card.

A MOTHERFUCKING FOOD-STAMP CARD. Which I didn't even apply for.

I give up. Honestly...it's going to be a long fucking time before anyone sees me again. To all the folks I write music with: I'll have files and stuff for you online to work with, and we can easily do stuff via the 'net. But it's going to be a long time before I can afford to drive to Pittsburgh again.

Gitmo

And while I'm in a phenomenally bad mood, I gotta ask the question:

Why does the United States still have the Guantanamo Bay detension center open?

Why haven't we tortured every last drop of blood and intelligence out of the detainees, so we can then just line them up and machinegun them down once their purpose has been served?

The United States obviously doesn't have any problem implementing torture (Abu Ghraib) or mass executions (Haditha), so what's the point of keeping Gitmo around when we could just as efficiently gouge every shred of evidence out of the detainees and then do the humane thing and just shoot them?

(Despite my usual bloodthirstiness, this is a legitimate question that's been wandering around in my mind for a while now....)

I doubt it.

Der Kommandant Achtung! You are 7% brainwashworthy, 68% antitolerant, and 42% blindly patriotic

Opportunistic, patriotic to a fault, and not so fond of people who aren't just like you, you are like a Nazi General. Back in Germany in the 1940's, you would have been at the top of the asshole list. Not for Nazism, necessarily, but for your own sick, twisted values. Then, out of superior intelligence (relative to other Nazis, that is), you would've climbed to the top. Conclusion: you would have been a Nazi, and most likely would have served them well. - new test, it rules, take it - The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on brainwashworthy You scored higher than 99% on antitolerant You scored higher than 99% on patriotic

Link: The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Huh? Well, yeah, I would've joined the SS for the uniform only...but, what's this intolerance stuff? The only people I truly hate and would gladly pack into death camps are the stupid? Oh. Wait. Ninety percent of humanity is stupid. OK, yeah, maybe it's right then.

Quite frankly, I'd much rather join Laibach. That way you get to keep the cool uniforms but also write awesome music and cover "The Final Countdown."

The gift horse.

So. Remember the totally free laptop my cousin sent me a few weeks ago?

It's dead.

Slagged. I think the motherboard blew on it.

Which, honestly, wouldn't be that big of a deal, since it's not even a year old. Still covered under warranty, right? So this morning I called HP to ask about what I should do with it, considering I registered it with them as soon as I got it. The fella on the line told me that the computer was registered to some company in Florida. Which didn't make sense, because I registered it myself online...or, I thought I did. Nope. It shows in their system as being owned by Blah Blah Blah Computer Consultancy in Some Fucking Place, Florida.

I called my fucking cousin and, of course, got no answer. So I tried to track down the company he suppoedly used to work for.

They don't exist. No webpage, no phone records, nothing.

I think the son-of-a-fucking-bitch sent me a stolen laptop. Or, the company he worked for went under and took all its assets with it.

Regardless, I can't afford to get the damned thing fixed, so I sledgehammered it this afternoon.

I'm done, people.

Done.

Quick Health Update

I just got back from the doctor's office. Had a checkup today. The UTI is not coming back...I just whizzed out another tiny kidney stone yesterday, and it caused some irritation.

They did a quick test for uric acid and calcium in my whizz today, and though my calcium levels are a little elevated (who knows why), that shouldn't be a problem as long as I drink a lot of water...which I do.

Fortunately, if I'm troubled by any stones in the future, it looks like they will be tiny stones that I can piss out without too much fuss. Still hurts like a motherfuck, but once the bullet's out of the gun, so to speak, the pain vanishes in a few minutes. I've already killed a gallon of water today.