Cubase is AWEsome

So. I'm now done with almost every Malpractice song slated to go on the album. I've begun exporting them track-by-track from Renoise 1.5, where I originally created at least 75% of them, and have been recombining the tracks in Cubase SX 2 for added MIDI stuff, extra FX, EQ, mastering, etc.

This is the first time I've used Cubase for a really big project.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. Is. It. Cool.

This album is going to sound unbelievably good.

Could your child be...*gasp* A POOFTER?!

Oh, those silly evangelicals. Small of mind, small of intelligence, probably small of wang as well....Focus on the Family, one of my favorite sites for "that ol' timey parenting wisdom" such as "Fill your child with fear of the Lord" and "suffer not a witch to live," has recently posted a checklist entitled Helping Boys Become Men, and Girls Become Women: Is My Child Becoming Homosexual? It's a frickin' hoot in the original, but here are the characteristics in case, you know, any of you fags and bull-dykes really want to confirm things:

Evidences of gender confusion or doubt in boys ages 5 to 11 may include:

1. A strong feeling that they are “different” from other boys.
2. A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy.
3. A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play.
4. A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes.
5. A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them “queer,” “fag” and “gay.”
6. A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even “think” effeminately.
7. A repeatedly stated desire to be — or insistence that he is — a girl.

Now, here's the breakdown. I am at least 80% straight (the 20% that isn't is reserved for uberdorq and digitalwank...and, of course, imightbegaye whenever he bothers to come out of his house). But when I was "5 to 11" I matched almost every one of those "warning signs."

1. I was always "different" from everybody else. Period. Boys, girls...other--didn't matter: I was the loose nut that never really fit in anywhere.

2. I was a self-admitted sissy with a very, very low pain threshold, hence the reason I never wanted to take part in any "rough" sports. I was quite the outdoorsman, but at the same time, just as likely to be hunched over in front of a computer or playing Atari as I was to be out wandering around in the woods.

3. I once thought I was Medusa after seeing Clash of the Titans 'cause I thought it would be SO BITCHIN' to be half-snake, turn people to stone with an errant glare, and have acid for blood.

4. I've always had lots of female friends. More female friends than male friends, oddly enough--especially since I usually consider myself some kind of misogynist. Most of the girls I knew as a kid were artistic, fairly literatre (as much as a gradeschooler can be), and just fun to goof around with. Maybe a big part of the reason I spent so much time around the chickies was because THEY WERE GIRLS. What can be more appealing to a hormone-saturated young buck like-a me?

5. I was always the butt of everyone's teasing and bullying...until, at fourteen, I threatened to butcher a kid's entire family and make him watch while I ate their hearts. Then things slacked off A LOT. Quite frankly, for a while there, things were pretty horrible. Were this happening in the '90s rather than the mid-'80s, you can be DAMN SURE I would've walked into school one day with a shotgun and opened fire. But then I learned to make everyone think I was psycho, or just to not let so much bother me, and things after that were awesome.

6 and 7 never really applied to me...at least until I was in college and learned that wearing my friends' dresses would often get a big laugh and was fun around Halloween time--but that's about it on the crossdressin' side of things. Nonetheless, five out of seven is pretty alarming. YOU DON'T THINK I...? NO. IT CAN'T BE!

More Cubase Jizzing

I am so addicted to this program. I've prettymuch scrapped all need to ever resort to Acid 5.0 or Ableton Live or ANY other sequencing/editing/recording package on earth...with the exception of Adobe's Audition 1.5, which still has a number of FX I really like.

Malpractice is going to be THA BOMB.

It may take longer to get out now than I originally intended, though, because now that I've been doing actual work in Cubase, I'm finding soooooooooooo many neat new tricks and FX to play with.