Up. Down. Crashing down, actually.
Nov. 9th, 2003 10:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oneirophreniaYesterday and most of today were Totally Fun(tm). ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
popejeremy and martygreene came down to Uniontown here to visit me, which was really, really nice of them: Lily got some great ornaments and Halloween stuff at the Jo Ann Fabrics, and Jeremy and I recorded some totally fresh new music, which many of you will be hearing soon. It was a great diversion, and made me feel like I was actually alive once more.
Today, after I saw them off back to Pittsburgh, I came home and found out from my mother that my cat, Ubus, a.k.a The PuppyCat (long explanation behind that name, believe me) had died last night. She had been sick for weeks, not eating, slowly wasting away....My mother took her to the vet and found out she was dying of renal and liver failure. Do you even want to know how sickening and agonizing that is?
So my mother brought her home. And it took her four days to finally give up. I don't know if I could've given the word to put her to sleep--because I am a weak-willed and ultimately indecisive piece of shit--but my fucking goddamned "I-can't-wait-for-this-cat-to-die-so-I-can-go-to-Vegas" mother sure as shit should've had the fucking balls.
Ubus wasn't even very old. I think she was 13....And I've had cats live to be 26, after all.
Anyway...I feel liike shit right now. At least the sedatives are keeping me stable--and Christy, too.
Well, I've got another doctor's appointment on Wednesday. I think I will ask for an on-demand IV drip of Thorazine. Thorazine makes everything feel good...I think. Maybe Thorazine's the one that turns you into a living zombie--I can't quite remember. I don't give a shit if it makes me skin turn green and my nose rot off, if it makes me feel like less of a diseased turd, I will take the hell out of it.
popejeremy and martygreene came down to Uniontown here to visit me, which was really, really nice of them: Lily got some great ornaments and Halloween stuff at the Jo Ann Fabrics, and Jeremy and I recorded some totally fresh new music, which many of you will be hearing soon. It was a great diversion, and made me feel like I was actually alive once more.Today, after I saw them off back to Pittsburgh, I came home and found out from my mother that my cat, Ubus, a.k.a The PuppyCat (long explanation behind that name, believe me) had died last night. She had been sick for weeks, not eating, slowly wasting away....My mother took her to the vet and found out she was dying of renal and liver failure. Do you even want to know how sickening and agonizing that is?
So my mother brought her home. And it took her four days to finally give up. I don't know if I could've given the word to put her to sleep--because I am a weak-willed and ultimately indecisive piece of shit--but my fucking goddamned "I-can't-wait-for-this-cat-to-die-so-I-can-go-to-Vegas" mother sure as shit should've had the fucking balls.
Ubus wasn't even very old. I think she was 13....And I've had cats live to be 26, after all.
Anyway...I feel liike shit right now. At least the sedatives are keeping me stable--and Christy, too.
Well, I've got another doctor's appointment on Wednesday. I think I will ask for an on-demand IV drip of Thorazine. Thorazine makes everything feel good...I think. Maybe Thorazine's the one that turns you into a living zombie--I can't quite remember. I don't give a shit if it makes me skin turn green and my nose rot off, if it makes me feel like less of a diseased turd, I will take the hell out of it.
