oneirophrenia | Go Ask Ogre

Ceremony last night featured Jolene Siana, authoress of Go Ask Ogre signing copies of her most excellent work. I bought another copy to get it signed so I can use my other copy as a loaner. It was quite nice talking to Ms. Siana, as she is very cool--as was her friend Valerie--and, all in all, the evening was a nice break from the hell I've been going through all last week.

But, still...but 11 I'd completely run out of energy. I just started feeling...cramped. Cramped and viciously tired. I don't really like being around people for very long anymore, it seems.

I've also been incredibly paranoid the last few days: waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it were. I'm half-afraid to leave my goddamned house for fear something will explode or a jet engine will crash through the roof into my bedroom. I never used to be a fatalistic person, but I sure as hell am now. I feel like Oedipus, predestined for doom. I'd be able to deal with destiny if it were, say, coming to me like it did to Akhilleos--a brief, but glorious life that would leave a mark on the world. Instead, all I get is a lifetime of neverending disaster. Never MAJOR, LIFE-DESTROYING disasters, but thousands of minor (usually) disasters that erode my willingness to survive more and more every time. It just never ends.