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oneirophreniaWhen the movie Serenity was aiming for the theatres, I had NO inclination whatsoever to see it. I figured it would just be yet another inane space-opera. But a LOT of my friends--people whose tastes in films I greatly trust--cajoled me to see it, citing that it was a very entertaining film. I'd never watched Firefly when it was on tv, so I didn't know whether I could enjoy the film or not, since I lacked a necessary background in the universe--but, again, I was told that it wasn't particularly necessary to have watched the television program to enjoy the movie. Well, when I saw it at WalMart for $19 last night, I figured what the fuck--I might as well just buy it since I'd probably like it anyway.
And I did! It was a very pleasant surprise. I liked the film at LOT more than I'd thought I would. The characters were all nicely drawn (if a little cliched) and the performances superb--especially that of the fellow playing the anonymous Alliance assassin--and the story highly engaging, if obviously reminiscent of about twenty million other space-operas. I particularly liked the concept of the Reavers because, hell, space barbarians are always cool, and I give Joss Whedon or whoever created the setting props for playing with the concept of a stellar system filled to brimming with terraformed worlds. That alone was neat and rather reminiscent of the work of Iain Banks (I'm thinking Use of Weapons here).
And, ohyeah--Summer Glau (River) and Jewel Staite (Kaylee) are both incredibly attractive women. That's always a plus.
Nonetheless, I am a hard hard-sci-fi motherfucker, and here're some serious quibbles I had with the film.
1. Why the artificial gravity? It was totally unnecessary. A standard gee acceleration while in flight would give you all the gravity you need. Plus, if you don't have the budget or the will to film microgravity scenes, then just skip over them since the only time they'll turn up is when the ship is not accelerating or waiting in orbit to land. Easily passed over.
2. What the FUCK was up with Mister Universe's planet? What the hell was that seething mass of ionic fire surrounding the planet? Y'all realize that no kind of electromagnetic signal known to man save maybe a gigawatt microwave transmission could penetrate an ionic hell like that without being scrambled beyond all hope of reconstruction, right? Also, any ship attempting to fly through a radiation belt that strong would probably be sterilized instantly or need so much heavy, heavy shielding to keep its biological crew alive and protect its circuits it would be the size of a small moon. Mind you, "broadwave" comms seem to use some kind of "instantaneous" signal transfer system such as, say, quantum teleportation of bits using synced particle-pairs, so that wouldn't be effected by a STORMING CLOUD OF RADIATION OVER YOUR PLANET.
3. Ummm....If the Reavers are basically viciously insane...how can they still form social organizations? And learn to fly--and fix--interplanetary craft? Shouldn't they be busy eating all the corpses on Miranda or, well, each other?
4. OK, Miranda is a terraformed planet on the very edge of the stellar system--say, in an orbit close to that of Pluto. Haven is, apparently, not that far away near the edges of the stellar system as well. The amount of sunlight landing on these worlds would be equivalent to the amount of light that lands on our planet after being reflected from Venus. In other words, the planets would be colder than hell, frozen solid under miles-thick glaciers, with "days" that get no brighter than a half-moon night on earth. The only way to keep the worlds lit would be to build some kind of artificial fusion-powered sun in orbit around them--which would've looked fucking AWESOME on screen!!! "Hey, Wash--be careful, man, you almost plowed into the sun on the deorbit burn!"
5. Psychics? Come o...OK, Summer Glau was incredibly hot. She can be a psychic if she wants to be--I ain't gonna argue.
Other than that, it was an awesome film, and well worth owning. I need to see the Firefly series now, since possibly some of the above gripes may have been addressed in it, and I'm sure the series is just as much fun.
And I did! It was a very pleasant surprise. I liked the film at LOT more than I'd thought I would. The characters were all nicely drawn (if a little cliched) and the performances superb--especially that of the fellow playing the anonymous Alliance assassin--and the story highly engaging, if obviously reminiscent of about twenty million other space-operas. I particularly liked the concept of the Reavers because, hell, space barbarians are always cool, and I give Joss Whedon or whoever created the setting props for playing with the concept of a stellar system filled to brimming with terraformed worlds. That alone was neat and rather reminiscent of the work of Iain Banks (I'm thinking Use of Weapons here).
And, ohyeah--Summer Glau (River) and Jewel Staite (Kaylee) are both incredibly attractive women. That's always a plus.
Nonetheless, I am a hard hard-sci-fi motherfucker, and here're some serious quibbles I had with the film.
1. Why the artificial gravity? It was totally unnecessary. A standard gee acceleration while in flight would give you all the gravity you need. Plus, if you don't have the budget or the will to film microgravity scenes, then just skip over them since the only time they'll turn up is when the ship is not accelerating or waiting in orbit to land. Easily passed over.
2. What the FUCK was up with Mister Universe's planet? What the hell was that seething mass of ionic fire surrounding the planet? Y'all realize that no kind of electromagnetic signal known to man save maybe a gigawatt microwave transmission could penetrate an ionic hell like that without being scrambled beyond all hope of reconstruction, right? Also, any ship attempting to fly through a radiation belt that strong would probably be sterilized instantly or need so much heavy, heavy shielding to keep its biological crew alive and protect its circuits it would be the size of a small moon. Mind you, "broadwave" comms seem to use some kind of "instantaneous" signal transfer system such as, say, quantum teleportation of bits using synced particle-pairs, so that wouldn't be effected by a STORMING CLOUD OF RADIATION OVER YOUR PLANET.
3. Ummm....If the Reavers are basically viciously insane...how can they still form social organizations? And learn to fly--and fix--interplanetary craft? Shouldn't they be busy eating all the corpses on Miranda or, well, each other?
4. OK, Miranda is a terraformed planet on the very edge of the stellar system--say, in an orbit close to that of Pluto. Haven is, apparently, not that far away near the edges of the stellar system as well. The amount of sunlight landing on these worlds would be equivalent to the amount of light that lands on our planet after being reflected from Venus. In other words, the planets would be colder than hell, frozen solid under miles-thick glaciers, with "days" that get no brighter than a half-moon night on earth. The only way to keep the worlds lit would be to build some kind of artificial fusion-powered sun in orbit around them--which would've looked fucking AWESOME on screen!!! "Hey, Wash--be careful, man, you almost plowed into the sun on the deorbit burn!"
5. Psychics? Come o...OK, Summer Glau was incredibly hot. She can be a psychic if she wants to be--I ain't gonna argue.
Other than that, it was an awesome film, and well worth owning. I need to see the Firefly series now, since possibly some of the above gripes may have been addressed in it, and I'm sure the series is just as much fun.
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 11:51 pm (UTC)Quite possibly the best review of Serenity that I've ever read. Well done sir!
Ion Cloud
Date: 2005-12-28 12:54 am (UTC)On the Directors commentary - okay you can stop laughing and pointing, I was watching it with the commentary on because I wanted to know what he was thinking, as a writer, when he did what he did to Wash...anyway, I digress. Joss Whedon fully admits that he has no scientific reason for the cloud, that he doesnt know what an "ion cloud is" and admits that he doesn't care, it was there strictly because he needed the "indians coming over the mountain and suprising the cowboys" type of reveal. Have to admit, even if you guessed what was comming, it was a great scene.
I am happy to read that previous knowledge of "Firefly" isn't necessary, I was wondering about that as I was watching it. That said, you really should watch the series, it is quite fantastic.
Re: Ion Cloud
Date: 2005-12-28 04:03 am (UTC)This is why I swear up, down, and sideways that everyone directing a sci-fi movie or writing a script for one have a science advisor. It's such a small thing, really, and you can do so much already with just the basics of known physics, there's just no need to invoke goofy things like artificial gravity and mysterious foaming blue "ion fields"--naturally-occurring radiation belts are just as awesome, and a thousand times more deadly!
no subject
Date: 2005-12-28 04:46 am (UTC)2. I missed that. Gotta rewatch it. I thought the character didn't fit well, being thrown in there without warning.
3. Was wondering that myself.
4. Excellent point.
5. She was part of a research programme to see if they actually existed, and if so if they could be created. She was a success, so in the context of the story she was pretty hot property.
I ignored Firefly when it was on, too. I didn't expect it to be so good.