Hot...or SCARY?!
Aug. 22nd, 2005 12:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oneirophreniaI have this truly amazing ability to be utterly and completely unaware of certain Internet fads, musical artists, and so forth on occasion because I somehow selectively tune them out of my sensorium completely. One of these is the site HOT or NOT, which I just came across today via SomethingAwful.com's hysterical Weekend Web feature. Apparently, it's some kind of dating/social-networking/wanking site where you can, like, look up people based on keywords they enter or their location or what-the-hell-ever.
At any rate, after seeing some of the PSYCHOTICS that have profiles up on that site, I just decided to have a glance at it myself for shits'n'giggles, and what's the first thing I encounter? Literally--the FIRST thing that I encounter when I just typed in "Pittsburgh" as a keyword?
This incredibly annoying girl who--for some stupid reason--hit on me at Ceremony back when it was still cold outside. Check it out: I was out on the dancefloor as usual shakin' my moneymaker to...Idaknow, probably Peter Murphy or Franz Ferdinand--and little sister there came over to my sweaty, exhausted, sore-kneed ass and asked me if I liked metal.
"Metal?" I replied. "You mean, like...iron, aluminum, magnesium--"
"No! DUH! Like...metal!"
"Ohhhh. You mean like Iron Maiden, Queensryche, pre-black-album Metallica, Hammerfall--"
"NO! Like...fuckin' Manson and Atreyu and My Chemical Romance and shit!"
Friends...Romans...countrymen--have any of you ever seen me, say, dancing to something like that crap, or wearing a t-shirt or anything of the sort that might say, "Hello, I'm a dumb fuck who likes nu-metal and garage-band punk?" I doubt it! It was so random, inexplicable, and above all else weird that I somehow stored the girl's image in the back of my mind. Hence the reason I recognized her in the photo. Well...that, and the fact that she was wearing the EXACT SAME OUTFIT. Hell, that picture was probably taken before she left for Ceremony.
Anyway, even after I told her I only listened to old-man goth music and country and gay-bar house or whatever, she kept trying to lure me into her Avril-Lavignesque conversation about metal bands and tattoos. It was STRANGE, I tell you. Needless to say, me being Pegritz and all that, I tried to just idly flirt with her or mess with her tiny little mind somehow--but I couldn't say more than five sentences to her before the negative quantum information she was pouring into my ear via her scratchy pot-head voice started to cancel out actual information in my brain and I ran for more booze. I only talked to her for, like, five minutes but, jayzus, I think she somehow made me forget the name of my 5th grade teacher or the last memory I had of my father....
And now I hop onto some stupid personals site to see if I can turn up some hilarious freaks like the SomethingAwful Forum Goons did, and who shows up first and foremost?
Thank the gods I've never seen her again. I'm afraid just walking past her would suck more of my precious neurons out of my skull through my pores. And you all wonder why I've been living like a monk for the past few months?
Anyway, it's people like her--and sites like HOT or NOT--that make me despair of future generations. But then I just have to remember how many young people I saw at the Devo concert totallyh rocking it out and freakin' the oldskool spud groove, and my spirits lift a little. Eh. Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go read a book about quantum information theory now and try to maximize my input bandwidth rather than wasting it laughing at people who think they're the gods' gift to cranky old pseudo-goths.
At any rate, after seeing some of the PSYCHOTICS that have profiles up on that site, I just decided to have a glance at it myself for shits'n'giggles, and what's the first thing I encounter? Literally--the FIRST thing that I encounter when I just typed in "Pittsburgh" as a keyword?
This incredibly annoying girl who--for some stupid reason--hit on me at Ceremony back when it was still cold outside. Check it out: I was out on the dancefloor as usual shakin' my moneymaker to...Idaknow, probably Peter Murphy or Franz Ferdinand--and little sister there came over to my sweaty, exhausted, sore-kneed ass and asked me if I liked metal.
"Metal?" I replied. "You mean, like...iron, aluminum, magnesium--"
"No! DUH! Like...metal!"
"Ohhhh. You mean like Iron Maiden, Queensryche, pre-black-album Metallica, Hammerfall--"
"NO! Like...fuckin' Manson and Atreyu and My Chemical Romance and shit!"
Friends...Romans...countrymen--have any of you ever seen me, say, dancing to something like that crap, or wearing a t-shirt or anything of the sort that might say, "Hello, I'm a dumb fuck who likes nu-metal and garage-band punk?" I doubt it! It was so random, inexplicable, and above all else weird that I somehow stored the girl's image in the back of my mind. Hence the reason I recognized her in the photo. Well...that, and the fact that she was wearing the EXACT SAME OUTFIT. Hell, that picture was probably taken before she left for Ceremony.
Anyway, even after I told her I only listened to old-man goth music and country and gay-bar house or whatever, she kept trying to lure me into her Avril-Lavignesque conversation about metal bands and tattoos. It was STRANGE, I tell you. Needless to say, me being Pegritz and all that, I tried to just idly flirt with her or mess with her tiny little mind somehow--but I couldn't say more than five sentences to her before the negative quantum information she was pouring into my ear via her scratchy pot-head voice started to cancel out actual information in my brain and I ran for more booze. I only talked to her for, like, five minutes but, jayzus, I think she somehow made me forget the name of my 5th grade teacher or the last memory I had of my father....
And now I hop onto some stupid personals site to see if I can turn up some hilarious freaks like the SomethingAwful Forum Goons did, and who shows up first and foremost?
Thank the gods I've never seen her again. I'm afraid just walking past her would suck more of my precious neurons out of my skull through my pores. And you all wonder why I've been living like a monk for the past few months?
Anyway, it's people like her--and sites like HOT or NOT--that make me despair of future generations. But then I just have to remember how many young people I saw at the Devo concert totallyh rocking it out and freakin' the oldskool spud groove, and my spirits lift a little. Eh. Enough of this bullshit. I'm gonna go read a book about quantum information theory now and try to maximize my input bandwidth rather than wasting it laughing at people who think they're the gods' gift to cranky old pseudo-goths.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 10:21 am (UTC)2: That one chick has a Cinema Strange t-shirt!
3: Admit it, you want to be wearing a Manson shirt next time you visit.
4: Pass Bryce my email: trhodes@FreeBSD.org
--
Tom Rhodes
no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 02:25 pm (UTC)Lyssa/Kelly
no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-22 09:06 pm (UTC)I ain't hot...
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 02:09 am (UTC)Heh. I'm half-tempted to toss up an old picture of me chewing on a bloody legbone up on that site and identify myself as Ed Gein's Number 1 Fan just to see how many fucked-up weirdos I can attract. Call it an experiment in proving what a psycho-magnet I am!