Football/Grading Break

[oneirophrenia]

What the fuck is wrong with Computer Music this month? First of all, the issue is devoted to drum n' bass, which is probably the least interesting form of electronic music ever invented. Admittedly, I've heard a few d'n'b tracks over the years that I've really liked, but then again, y'all know me--there isn't any genre of music on earth that I dislike in toto. But I must say that I find 99.9999% of drum n' bass tracks to be so incredibly boring, repetitive, and uncreative that they just shrivel my scrotum. But it gets worse: there's also a tutorial in CM this month concerning how to sound like Slipknot.

SLIPKNOT?! What. The. Fuck.

First of all, NO ONE ON EARTH should want to sound like Slipknot. That's like wanting to always smell like pig shit. Second of all: Slipknot is a shitty, completely untalented metal band. There is nothing even vaguely electronic or computerized about them.

My brain hurts.

At least the new issue of Future Music has some more solid content, including a tutorial on studio procedures to give you that 1980s electro sound a la the Cars. That is cool. I'd sooner sound like the Cars' Heartbeat City than ANYTHING drum'n'bassy or Slipknotty.

Also, the new issue of CM comes with a CD stuffed full of free VST plugins, samples, and the like--so at least it gives me more toys to play with, even though the content of the mag itself this month is mooktastic, to say the least. Ah, well.

The really cool thing is: almost every single track on Malpractice has been created using tools, synths, and samples taken from Computer Music and Future Music software collections. Yeah, I'm lame--I admit it. But I don't have the damn time to invent my own sounds. I'd rather take stuff others have created and morph it beyond recognition using chain upon chain of VST effects.

Now, back to the Stillerz, who are actually playing like a real live NFL team today!

Comments

[eolh.livejournal.com]

SLIPKNOT?! What. The. Fuck.

Maybe it's a tutorial on what not to do! :)

[oneirophrenia.livejournal.com]

I thought so, too! But it is not the case. They actually show you how to make your synths and stuff sound like retarded idiots in latex masks are playing them. Shameful, I tell you. Shame. Full.