This says it all.

[oneirophrenia]

I've lately found it incredibly difficult to really express my own inner moments in my own words because...well, my head is full of static and jury-rigged electrophotonics--and I've just never been good at translating the raw output of my heart into anything resembling English. This is really odd, since I am an English teacher, after all, and I spend my days teaching others to communicate effectively and I can write circles around damnear any subject on earth. Just not...well, me. So, naturally, like any lame-ass overly-introverted teenager who can't for the life of him put his own inner workings into print without making them sound like melodramatic tripe, I let my habit of quoting everything from old Latin poets to goofy movies to song lyrics speak my mind for me, since they seem to do such a better job than I ever could on my own.

Today, though, my lovely friend g0dstar, whom I regard as one of the best avant-garde writers/lyricists I have ever known, came up with the following which, in my estimation, spells out my current functional state so well I'd swear she's been living in my own head (which is certainly possible...since, apparently, we share a really bizarre oneiric connection that involves all manner of subconscious data transfers).

remember to love when your heart can't bare no more, & your sides are worn with the whippings galore, the holes in your eyes are filled with jewels & light, the darkness is a dreAm, thick & sweet, no not one thing is wrong oR- right, there are no words to describe. -and what oV the scholars, the brain filled with letters & numbers, the tongues that roll with the feet that patter, heAvy brows, hard hats & what does this matter? -when all the children are singing iN their heAds, when all the holidays are here & we've resuscitated the kisses, the hand oVer heart ..beat. flAsh_____________* riding iN the white vehicular, tiMe stops. sirEn sings, i kiss you iNto another dreAm.

Thank you, Natalia. That says it all--and so beautifully, as well.