A Sudden Outbreak of Assrape
Apr. 7th, 2004 02:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oneirophreniaHad to get a new cellphone today. Well, whoop-a-dee whee! I didn't even bother to turn the damn squawkbox on until right before I was about to leave for work...and when I hit the ol' power button, it wouldn't turn on. I'd plugged it in to recharge the battery the night before and, as usual, had to plug and unplug the damnable power cord about fifty times before the phone finally decided to start sucking up juice; but when I left it on the TV, it was clearly recharging. So, I figured...hell, maybe the battery is loose. As I proceeded to try to remove the battery, the front faceplate fell off and the antenna fell out, too. To top it all off, the power button vanished, too! My answer to this was, of course, a vicious "MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRR!" and a quick, pissed-off sidetrip up to the Verizon place for a righteous bitchfest.
Now...y'all know that I've had all manner of trouble with this damned phone since I got it two years ago. And I had all manner of trouble with the phone I had before it, too. I am plagued by shitty phones. In fact, I patently refuse to pay more than $100 for a friggin' cellphone since I actually had more problem with the $300 StarTac I used to have than I did with the $75 piece-o'-shite Nokia that just crapped out today. Regardless, though, I was ready to give the people at Verizon a hardcore drummin', and that's just what I did. I almost feel sorry now for the poor guy I launched into, but I gave 'em a good earful about all the damned trouble I had in the past with their phones and their service and I threatened at least five times to just shrug the whole thing off and run right over to Sprint...which definitely got their interest.
What it came down to is this: I could've either gone for the phone-replacement insurance option, which would've cost me $50 and would've gotten me a new version of the same old phone maybe 24 to 48 hours later; or I could've just gotten a new phone. Well, as much as I hate having a cellphone, I unfortunately need one since 1) it's my work lifeline and I always have students, colleagues, ho's, and the like trying to get a hold of me; and 2) I don't have a landline to fall back on. Plus, for another $50 more, I could just get a better phone--still a cheap Nokia, but at least one that has a vibrate function and a better phone directory. I was this close to saying the hell with it, cancelling my service, and going over to Spring, but then the guy made me a decent offer: he upper my service plan to a better deal (same monthly price, but national coverage [i.e., no roaming charges anywhere now], more minutes, and unlimited night and weekend calling), and cut me a break on a decent midrange phone for $130--which was $30 more than I could really afford to spend, but...they also threw in about $70 worth of extra things like a travel headset, a carry-all, a car adapter, and some other stuff just to keep me around. Ohyeah, and they gave me an unlimited one-year plan that will fix anything and everything that may happen to yon new phone in its first year of service beneath my iron will.
So, ultimately, I got a fairly decent, no-frills phone, a better calling plan, and extra stuff for $130. Assrape, yes, but at least they were kind enough to give a brother a bit of a reacharound to soften the blow. Not that bad a deal, ultimately.
But I swear to the Other Gods, if this phone gives me ONE LICK OF TROUBLE, I'm going up there packing an Uzi and a bandolier of grenades like Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
Now...y'all know that I've had all manner of trouble with this damned phone since I got it two years ago. And I had all manner of trouble with the phone I had before it, too. I am plagued by shitty phones. In fact, I patently refuse to pay more than $100 for a friggin' cellphone since I actually had more problem with the $300 StarTac I used to have than I did with the $75 piece-o'-shite Nokia that just crapped out today. Regardless, though, I was ready to give the people at Verizon a hardcore drummin', and that's just what I did. I almost feel sorry now for the poor guy I launched into, but I gave 'em a good earful about all the damned trouble I had in the past with their phones and their service and I threatened at least five times to just shrug the whole thing off and run right over to Sprint...which definitely got their interest.
What it came down to is this: I could've either gone for the phone-replacement insurance option, which would've cost me $50 and would've gotten me a new version of the same old phone maybe 24 to 48 hours later; or I could've just gotten a new phone. Well, as much as I hate having a cellphone, I unfortunately need one since 1) it's my work lifeline and I always have students, colleagues, ho's, and the like trying to get a hold of me; and 2) I don't have a landline to fall back on. Plus, for another $50 more, I could just get a better phone--still a cheap Nokia, but at least one that has a vibrate function and a better phone directory. I was this close to saying the hell with it, cancelling my service, and going over to Spring, but then the guy made me a decent offer: he upper my service plan to a better deal (same monthly price, but national coverage [i.e., no roaming charges anywhere now], more minutes, and unlimited night and weekend calling), and cut me a break on a decent midrange phone for $130--which was $30 more than I could really afford to spend, but...they also threw in about $70 worth of extra things like a travel headset, a carry-all, a car adapter, and some other stuff just to keep me around. Ohyeah, and they gave me an unlimited one-year plan that will fix anything and everything that may happen to yon new phone in its first year of service beneath my iron will.
So, ultimately, I got a fairly decent, no-frills phone, a better calling plan, and extra stuff for $130. Assrape, yes, but at least they were kind enough to give a brother a bit of a reacharound to soften the blow. Not that bad a deal, ultimately.
But I swear to the Other Gods, if this phone gives me ONE LICK OF TROUBLE, I'm going up there packing an Uzi and a bandolier of grenades like Michael Douglas in Falling Down.
