This Friday is pretty Good, I think....
Apr. 9th, 2004 01:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oneirophreniaLadies and gentlemen, the question for today is: Why Pick the God of the Bible?
Let's see how the "god" of the Bible stacks up according to the criteria presented on that site. And, in the interest of furthering my own goals, we'll also see how Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos (the actual entity, not the band) stands up to those criteria as well.
First of all, you need to look for "A God Who is Greater than We Are." Well, DUH. Otherwise, the fucker wouldn't be a god, he'd just be...well, me. The god of the Bible is clearly greater than we are, so that's a given...but so is Nyarlathotep. Tie!
Second: you need "A God Who Can Be Known Personally." Idaknow about you all, but I've never once seen, heard, or rode the bus home with any mighty being known as Jehovah, Yahweh, or anything like that. I've never once encountered the god of the Bible in any form....But I have encountered Nyarlathotep! You don't even have to break a sweat or be martyred to do it: just open up the Necronomicon, perform the simple ritual for the summoning of Chaos, and BAM! I've actually gotten to know the Crawling Chaos personally in the last few years, and it seems to be a pretty righteous fella...if you can look past the "wants to destroy the entire planet for no reason whatsoever" thing--but I've never had an issue with that anyway.
Thirdly: you need "A God Who Can Relate to the Human Experience." God-of-the-Bible does that, sure, since he apparently incarnated himself as a carpenter for a while about 2000 years ago. But so did Nyarlathotep, when it walked the lands of ancient Khem (Egypt) in the form of Nephren-Ka, the Black Pharaoh. OK. So the question is: would you rather hang with a god who spent his time on earth building chairs and tables or a god who ruled the greatest and longest-lasting civilization humanity has ever known? The choice is clear!
Fourth: "A God Who Really Cares About Us." The god of the Bible clearly doesn't give a shit, because if he did, you think we'd have had the Holocaust, the Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, and Pat Robertson? Fuck dat! Nyarlathotep clearly doesn't give a crap about humanity, either--we are little more than negligible bacteria to it and the Other Gods--but at least the Crawling Chaos is up front about it and doesn't try to fool us into thinking it actually cares! I'll take the honesty, thank you.
Fifth: "A God Who Has Things Completely Under Control." If the god of the Bible has this chaotic world "under control," then holmes needs to get a grip and quit downloading Goddess pr0n long enough to straighten out this fart-box of a Creation. On the other hand...Nyarlathotep clearly has this chaotic world under control! It's so obvious.
Sixth: "A God Who Gives Meaning and Purpose to Life." Thanks, but running around complaining about gay marriage and Harry Potter and the evils of Islam is not the kind of purpose I really need in my life. I rather like the purpose I'm currently working with: to stir up as much insanity and weirdness as humanly possible via the tools of music, literature, and/or occasional black rituals from the Vermis Mysteriis in the name of the Ogdru Jahad and their number one homeboy, Nyarlathotep.
Seventh, and finally: "A God WHo Offers True Fulfillment." I was raised Catholic. It never made any sense, though the ritual and historical aspects of it were totally cool. I never got a lick of fulfilment from being a Christian of even the most nonspecific, nondenominational sort. But since I've dedicated my life to the Crawling Chaos, I've gained a greater sense of self-worth and dedication to art, I've made friends and become "popular," and--best of all--every weekend night, yo...supermodels on my d! You can't beat that! Sure, it will all eventually lead to the hideous, blood-soaked destruction of the entire planet in a heartbeat, but big friggin' deal: I've got a good thing happening now, and that's all I need!
So....The Ideal God? I think that's pretty damned obvious. The final question posed on that site is: "If you had to pick a God for your life, what would that God be like?" Simple. A god that will use its powers for AWESOME. And we all know who that god is, now, don't we?!
Now...wouldn't a Nyarlathotep album be the perfect thing to find in your Easter basket this year?
Let's see how the "god" of the Bible stacks up according to the criteria presented on that site. And, in the interest of furthering my own goals, we'll also see how Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos (the actual entity, not the band) stands up to those criteria as well.
First of all, you need to look for "A God Who is Greater than We Are." Well, DUH. Otherwise, the fucker wouldn't be a god, he'd just be...well, me. The god of the Bible is clearly greater than we are, so that's a given...but so is Nyarlathotep. Tie!
Second: you need "A God Who Can Be Known Personally." Idaknow about you all, but I've never once seen, heard, or rode the bus home with any mighty being known as Jehovah, Yahweh, or anything like that. I've never once encountered the god of the Bible in any form....But I have encountered Nyarlathotep! You don't even have to break a sweat or be martyred to do it: just open up the Necronomicon, perform the simple ritual for the summoning of Chaos, and BAM! I've actually gotten to know the Crawling Chaos personally in the last few years, and it seems to be a pretty righteous fella...if you can look past the "wants to destroy the entire planet for no reason whatsoever" thing--but I've never had an issue with that anyway.
Thirdly: you need "A God Who Can Relate to the Human Experience." God-of-the-Bible does that, sure, since he apparently incarnated himself as a carpenter for a while about 2000 years ago. But so did Nyarlathotep, when it walked the lands of ancient Khem (Egypt) in the form of Nephren-Ka, the Black Pharaoh. OK. So the question is: would you rather hang with a god who spent his time on earth building chairs and tables or a god who ruled the greatest and longest-lasting civilization humanity has ever known? The choice is clear!
Fourth: "A God Who Really Cares About Us." The god of the Bible clearly doesn't give a shit, because if he did, you think we'd have had the Holocaust, the Inquisition, the Salem Witch Trials, and Pat Robertson? Fuck dat! Nyarlathotep clearly doesn't give a crap about humanity, either--we are little more than negligible bacteria to it and the Other Gods--but at least the Crawling Chaos is up front about it and doesn't try to fool us into thinking it actually cares! I'll take the honesty, thank you.
Fifth: "A God Who Has Things Completely Under Control." If the god of the Bible has this chaotic world "under control," then holmes needs to get a grip and quit downloading Goddess pr0n long enough to straighten out this fart-box of a Creation. On the other hand...Nyarlathotep clearly has this chaotic world under control! It's so obvious.
Sixth: "A God Who Gives Meaning and Purpose to Life." Thanks, but running around complaining about gay marriage and Harry Potter and the evils of Islam is not the kind of purpose I really need in my life. I rather like the purpose I'm currently working with: to stir up as much insanity and weirdness as humanly possible via the tools of music, literature, and/or occasional black rituals from the Vermis Mysteriis in the name of the Ogdru Jahad and their number one homeboy, Nyarlathotep.
Seventh, and finally: "A God WHo Offers True Fulfillment." I was raised Catholic. It never made any sense, though the ritual and historical aspects of it were totally cool. I never got a lick of fulfilment from being a Christian of even the most nonspecific, nondenominational sort. But since I've dedicated my life to the Crawling Chaos, I've gained a greater sense of self-worth and dedication to art, I've made friends and become "popular," and--best of all--every weekend night, yo...supermodels on my d! You can't beat that! Sure, it will all eventually lead to the hideous, blood-soaked destruction of the entire planet in a heartbeat, but big friggin' deal: I've got a good thing happening now, and that's all I need!
So....The Ideal God? I think that's pretty damned obvious. The final question posed on that site is: "If you had to pick a God for your life, what would that God be like?" Simple. A god that will use its powers for AWESOME. And we all know who that god is, now, don't we?!
Now...wouldn't a Nyarlathotep album be the perfect thing to find in your Easter basket this year?
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 06:10 pm (UTC)Re: Uh oh.
Date: 2004-04-09 06:10 pm (UTC)Aw, shit. THat was a rib.
You know...now that you mention it...maybe we *should* start playing up the Lovecraftian Stryper angle!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 06:31 pm (UTC)i think we should make pamphlets of this, and pass them about beside all the street evangelists. seriously!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 07:04 pm (UTC)(BTW: Glad it made your day!)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 10:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-11 04:56 pm (UTC)